Example headings

Example narratives

Psychological growth as an athlete EFP

Change in attitude and consciousness toward baseball

I was told that “playing catch is the basic” all through elementary, middle, and high school, like “playing catch is the most important thing.” I said “yes,” but that was obvious… not about whether it was basic… I thought it was obvious, so when I couldn’t throw anymore, I realized again how important playing catch is. You can’t play baseball unless you do this [throwing] properly… I thought it’s not baseball otherwise… Since then (before uni), I’d goof around playing catch with underarm throws… throwing curveballs… Now, I haven’t thrown once… none of those… If the other guy throws it to me… and says, like, “Try a curve ball,” I’ll say, “No, I won’t throw.” He’ll be, like, “That’ll sure make it weird for you.”

My way of thinking changed… Maybe I’ll become better if I do more like this? I came to think there’s still so much I can do…, like, I became a bit more serious, a bit more earnest… about baseball… not taking it lightly…, but I came to think that I should really put thought into it.


[Back when I had the yips symptoms] I disliked baseball. I disliked playing baseball… I didn’t want to go to practice and felt like I wanted to quit many times… I felt so, but ever since I became able to throw again, I’ve been thinking maybe I can change more… Like, maybe I can improve… I was so bad at throwing, but now I can throw… It’s like I can improve if I work hard… I started thinking I can improve.

I was always placing [in] games as vice-captain and a regular throughout elementary and middle school; I joined a strong team in high school and was in the lineup pretty often, so I thought, “I’m pretty awesome,” although I didn’t let it show… I went to a good high school, and we played at Koshien, stuff like that… If someone else couldn’t play the way I wanted, I’d be, like, “This guy’s hopeless; get your act together.” I wouldn’t say it out loud, but that’s what I thought. But in the end, because this happened [the experience of the yips], I felt that I sucked too… like, because I suck… thinking like that… not my perspective, but like, looking down on myself.

Understanding and acceptance of others

Back in high school and middle school, if somebody kept throwing me wild ones while playing catch, I’d get irritated, like “Throw seriously.” I wouldn’t say it out loud, but I’d think it in my head… like, “Why can’t you throw?” Things like that… Ever since I lost my ability to throw, I’d be throwing quite a lot of them [wild throws] to the one I was playing catch with… I’d say, “I’m really sorry,” and he’d say, “Don’t sweat it.” Since then, I… before, if someone would throw me a wild one when playing catch, I’d think, “Throw it,” but I never think like that now… because I threw so many wild ones before myself… Like, this is nothing compared to that… I came to think, “He’s so much better than me.” Like, I don’t get irritated by wild throws… That changed… I think so at least. Like, I’ve become more forgiving… stuff I can’t do… I’m able to think that way now even if someone throws me a wild one. Forgiving,… that’s right… I stopped being short-tempered… Like, I don’t get angry so much… I’ve stopped getting irritated.

I’ve received so much advice, and I’ve caused a lot of trouble by throwing wild balls and tosses… We’d play catch before the fungoes, and the other person would be preparing for the fungoes, but I’d just throw wild throws, and we wouldn’t do it properly before the fungoes… I’d feel sorry for him, but he wouldn’t get upset despite my wild throws… I’d say, “Sorry,” and he’d say, “It’s fine.” I came to feel like that.

Wanting to help others with experience of the yips

If a junior student, a person like that [someone suffering from the yips], came along—X [a senior student on Participant A’s current team and an athlete who experienced the yips]. Matsuo would give quite a lot of advice too… I kind of want to do something like that, too… I used to think, “I’m number one” (before experiencing the yips), but I’m thinking that I’d like to help out my juniors if there’s anyone who can’t throw.

It’s, like, I want to give some guidance… Like, if I see someone like that [an athlete suffering from the yips], I do want to give some advice… I came to think that I wanted to give some advice.