Categories

Sub-categories

Concepts

Self image concepts

Guiding question: When looking in the mirror what do you envision?

Well, I wish I were A (referring to a famous actress), but it is a shame I’m not, she is very beautiful and sexy, and I’m not. (Hera)

I feel somewhat embarrassed because I would like to have a perfect body, since I admire the other able-bodied woman who attracts everyone else’s attention, specially men’s. (Artemis)

When I look at this (referring to the self-image in a mirror) I see my qualities, my flaws, what I really am. (Aphrodite)

Sometimes we who have disabilities attract much more attention than the able-bodied ones. (Athena)

Concepts about sexuality

Guiding question: In your opinion what do you mean by sexuality.

For me, sexuality has to do with a sensual gaze, indeed, all men fall for a sensual gaze. (Artemis)

Sexuality comprises cleanness. Men like when they find cleanness in the woman. (Athena)

My husband likes finding me all dressed up when he comes home, especially when I’m wearing a shot skirt, he loves it. This is sexuality, for me. (Hera)

Social actors co-responsible for the

promotion of sexuality

Male figure

Guiding question: How do you feel about your partner in the exercise of sexuality.

I must be dressed up and use makeup all the time for my husband, otherwise he goes out and looks for another woman. (Hera)

Nowadays, though it’s a long time I’m with my husband, I often feel embarrassed, sometimes I want to have sex, but have no courage to approach him. (Artemis)

Family

Guiding question: How is/was your relationship with your parents?

I was raised in a different manner. When I was younger, nobody approached me. Well, I was a little fool, did not get dressed up, my mom did not guide me. (Hera)

I wanted to have a child, but I can’t because my mom won’t let me, She said: if one day I had a child, she would leave. She warned me: the child comes and I (the mother) go. (Demeter)

My relationship with my mother has always been very open. Nowadays, the few things I know, since I have not much study, I learned from my mother. (Aphrodite)

I always talk to my mom, and she says: my daughter, you are already of age. Until you were 20, I was all very careful with you, but now you more mature, and if you find someone who fits, stay with him and just let it happen. (Hestia)

Health professionals

Guiding question: Have you had any positive or negative experience to be attended by health professionals?

I went for an ultrasound exam with Dr. Z, and he looked at me and asked: Are you married? Do you have kids? Have you ever felt the weight of a man on you? Then I said: No, doctor. Why do you ask? I felt like saying something... but I calmed down, and he gave an ironic smile. (Hestia)

The doctor asked me how long since I had my last sex relation. I said it was about eleven years, and she said: No way, I can’t believe this. And I said: If you don’t believe, there’s nothing I can do about it. (Athena)

Challenges experienced in the practice of sexuality

Prejudice

Guiding question: What are the most important needs for you in the exercise of sexuality?

I think the biggest problem with people with disabilities, which we must face, is prejudice. Only doing so, we can think about sexuality. (Hestia)

Sometimes, inside the buses, people do not sit close to us, as if they were afraid of contracting a disease, I can’t believe such a thing! (Hera)

Some people look at us as if we were some kind of E.T. (Demeter)

Fear of sexual abuse due to the disability

Guiding question: Are there any obstacles for you to experience sexuality?

I’m afraid of everything. If someone is looking at me, an instantly think: Gosh! He’s making fun of me. When they touch my shoulder, I always think they want to take advantage of me, I won’t let them. The word disability is stuck in my head. (Demeter)

In my previous relationships, one of my ex-boyfriends just wanted to take advantage of me. He just wanted to take me to motels. (Hestia)

This boy was in a hurry for sex with me, I got lost very soon, but it’s not because I’m a woman (in this case, being a woman means not being a virgin anymore) that I will meet a guy today and get laid with him tomorrow. (Athena)

I’ve never seen a gynecologist, this think of opening my legs to someone, God save me; when I had the surgery in my legs, it was like this: the doctor working and I covering with a cloth not to show my intimate parts. (Demeter)